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Part I:
Status of Research
Characteristics of Resilient Individuals
VI. Spiritual Competence
Having Faith that One's Own Life Matters
We inched a little closer to God, and because we did, we became a little better ourselves.
-9-year-old Ruby Bridges, on her role in the Civil Rights Movement
Quoted by Dr. Robert Coles (1986)
In his discussion of basic trust, Erikson (1963) eloquently stressed the importance of parents' finding meaning in their own lives and conveying this meaning to their children:
There are...few frustrations in either this [Basic Trust vs. Basic Mistrust] or the following stages which the growing child cannot endure if the frustration leads to the ever-renewed experience of greater sameness and stronger continuity of development, toward a final integration of the individual life cycle with some meaningful wider belongingness. Parents must not only have certain ways of guiding by prohibition and permission; they must also be able to represent to the child a deep, an almost somatic conviction that there is a meaning to what they are doing (p. 149).
Werner's (1996b) resilient children had faithin something beyond themselves, and "the ones who were able to use this faith to overcome adversity were the ones that saw meaning in their lives, even in pain and suffering. It wasn't church attendance but it was a belief that life, despite everything, made sense and that even the pain they experienced could ultimately be transformed." Having faith did not necessarily mean the children were part of a religious group, but Werner did find that strong church communities that provided structure and stability were especially helpful to people with serious mental illnesses who otherwise "were diagnosed and filed away." The churches, she says, "gave them a sense of self.. a sense of community...and some sense of a mission" (1996b, p. 24).
The Wolins describe the spiritual component of resilience as Morality: Holiness in an Unholy World. The earliest sign of morality, they say, is seen when children "feel hurt, want to know why, and begin judging the rights and the wrongs of their daily lot" (p. 184). The authors refer to Kagan's work which has demonstrated that, at about 2 years of age, children "appear to form an internal image of the way objects, people, and events should be" (p. 191}. As children's sense of morality develops, "judging branches out into valuing principles such as decency, compassion, honesty, and fair play" (p. 184). This is often seen in adolescents: "Restoring themselves by responding to suffering in others, resilient survivors champion the underdog, dedicate themselves to causes, and try to impose order at home" (Wolin & Wolin, 1994, p 184). And, as the Wolins later note, "the benefits of valuing are self-respect and being attached to something that matters (p. 193).
The Wolins (1994) describe the adult stage of morality as serving, that is, "devoting time and energy to institutions, communities, and the world" (p. 184). It is "trying to make the world you inhabit a better place by spreading around your emotional and material wealth" (p. 198) This is reminiscent of Erikson's (1963) writings about generativity, "the concern in establishing and guiding the next generation" (p.167). Serving reinforces one's sense of connection because "resilient survivors join their individual selves to the selfhood of humanity (Wolin & Wolin, 1994, p. 184).
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